In the novel "Lord John and the Hand of Devils" by Diana Gabaldon, the protagonist faces a moment of profound existential dread. He is troubled by the possibility of dying in a public place, surrounded by questionable company, which intensifies his feelings of vulnerability and scrutiny. The setting, a pleasure garden, serves to heighten the conflict between his noble background and the disreputable circumstances surrounding him.

This narrative explores themes of honor, identity, and societal expectations. The character's acute awareness of his surroundings and the people he associates with reflects a deeper anxiety about his own fate and reputation. The imagery of a "sodomite spy dressed like a rooster" adds an element of absurdity and highlights the contrasting elements of his life, forcing him to confront the complexities of his identity and the societal pressures that accompany it.