When something emotionally painful happens and we tell ourselves that our fault is ours, we are actually saying that we have control over it: if we change, the pain will disappear.
In her book "Women Who Love Too Much," Robin Norwood explores the emotional struggles that many women face when dealing with painful relationships. She highlights the tendency to internalize blame for relationship problems, believing that personal change can alleviate emotional suffering. This mindset suggests that if we take responsibility for the issues, we possess the power to fix them and restore happiness.
This perspective can be misleading, as it places undue pressure on individuals to transform themselves in hopes of improving their circumstances. While self-improvement is valuable, Norwood emphasizes that recognizing the limitations of personal responsibility is essential in fostering healthier relationships and emotional well-being.