The character reflects on a profound realization that despite living eight full lives, they have never found a partner worth staying for or following. This moment of vulnerability reveals their struggle to understand why they now feel a deep connection with someone who is not of their species. They question the fairness of discovering love so late in life, especially when they are faced with the prospect of leaving that love behind.
This internal conflict highlights the painful irony of their situation: finding true love in the twilight of existence and grappling with the complexity of loving multiple beings. The character expresses frustration over the emotional turmoil of wanting to nurture connections but feeling restricted by circumstances beyond their control. Their longing is palpable, underscoring the themes of love's unpredictability and the bittersweet nature of relationships.