Even now, she wished she could write a note, push it across the table, and go away to her room. But she was no longer a Second Assistant Librarian of the Great Library of the Clayr. Those days were gone, vanished with everything else that had defined her previous existence and identity.
She longed to communicate her feelings with a simple note, to quietly leave the room and retreat to her space. This desire reflects her wish for an easy escape from her current situation and her internal struggle with her identity.
However, she could no longer do so because she was no longer the Second Assistant Librarian of the Great Library of the Clayr. That part of her life had disappeared, taking with it her previous sense of self and the familiar role that once defined her existence.
