Every event has two handles-one by which it can be carried, and one by which it can't. If your brother does you wrong, don't grab it by his wronging, because this is the handle incapable of lifting it. Instead, use the other-that he is your brother, that you were raised together, and then you will have hold of the handle that carries. -EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 43
This quote from Epictetus emphasizes the importance of perspective when facing difficult situations. Every situation we encounter has multiple ways to be perceived. When someone wrongs us, it's easy to focus on the negative aspect, but doing so can lead to further frustration and resentment. Instead, we should remember the deeper connections and shared history that bind us to the person who has wronged us, such as the bond of brotherhood. By concentrating on positive attributes, we can approach conflicts more constructively.
The key lesson here is about how we can choose our reactions and the lens through which we view events. By choosing the "handle" that emphasizes love and understanding rather than blame, we can resolve conflicts more gracefully and maintain our relationships. This perspective aligns with the broader teachings of Stoicism, encouraging individuals to cultivate a mindset of resilience, compassion, and wisdom in the face of adversity. This approach not only helps in personal growth but also in fostering harmonious relationships.
