For it is difficult to speak, even any old rubbish, and at the same time focus one's attention on another point, where one's true interest lies, as fitfully defined by a feeble murmur seeming to apologize for not being dead. And what it seemed to me I heard then, concerning what I should do, and say, in order to have nothing further to do, nothing further to say, it seemed to me I only barely heard it, because of the noise I was engaged in making elsewhere, in obedience to the unintelligible terms of an incomprehensible damnation.
In this passage from "The Unnamable" by Samuel Beckett, the narrator reflects on the struggle of communication and the challenge of directing one’s attention. It conveys the profound difficulty of expressing thoughts while grappling with deeper feelings or truths that remain unarticulated. The narrator's experience of trying to speak seems burdensome, as it distracts from a more pressing internal struggle, suggesting a sense of confusion and discomfort.
Moreover, the idea of "feeble murmurs" hints at the fragility of existence and the struggle against the inevitability of silence or death. The narrator grapples with unheard calls to action that are overshadowed by the chaos of their own voice, representing an existential bind where they are lost in the noise of life yet yearning for clarity. This illustrates the tension between outer expression and inner truth, emphasizing a complex relationship with existence and communication.
