Forty-two. His age had astounded him for years, and each time that he had sat so astounded, trying to figure out what had become of the young, slim man in his twenties, a whole additional year slipped by and had to be recorded, a continually growing sum which he could not reconcile with his self-image. He still saw himself, in his mind's eye, as youthful, and when he caught sight of himself in photographs he usually collapsed ... Somebody took my actual physical presence away and substituted this, he had thought from time to time. Oh well, so it went.
The character reflects on the disconnect between his self-perception and his actual age, which is now forty-two. He feels bewildered as he grapples with the passage of time and how rapidly it seems to have slipped away from him. Each year that passes contributes to a growing realization that he cannot align with the vibrant image of himself that still resides in his mind. This sense of loss leaves him astounded and perplexed as he tries to comprehend the changes that time has wrought upon him.
As he catches glimpses of himself in photographs, he is struck by the stark contrast between his youthful spirit and his physical appearance. Thoughts arise questioning how this transformation occurred, leading him to humorously wonder if someone has taken away his youthful self and replaced it with his current form. Despite the inevitable changes that life brings, he seems to resign himself to the flow of time and the reality of aging, accepting it with a sense of resignation.
