In this excerpt from "The Grey King" by Susan Cooper, a character expresses deep frustration and sorrow over his involvement with a quest linked to mythical forces. He wishes to distance himself from the burdens of the Light and Dark, rejecting the ideals represented by Merriman and expressing disdain for the quest they are on. His anger is palpable as he wishes he could rid himself of the symbols of this journey, including the golden harp.
The character's emotional turmoil is evident as he mourns the loss of his dog, Cafall, emphasizing that personal grief overshadows any commitment to the larger struggle. His declaration that Cafall was never meant to be part of the "pretty pattern" of the quest highlights his desire to separate his personal pain from the grand narrative of good versus evil, showing a deep attachment to his lost companion.