God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.
In C.S. Lewis's reflections in "A Grief Observed," he explores the nature of faith and love through the lens of personal trials. He emphasizes that God is not discovering the limits of his faith or love; rather, it is Lewis who is learning about his own shortcomings and reliance on God. This introspection reveals that God's awareness of our inner strength and weaknesses surpasses our own.
Through the process of testing, Lewis describes the experience as occupying multiple roles simultaneously: the accused, the observer, and the judge. He acknowledges that God understands the fragility of his beliefs and uses trials to dismantle his illusions. This divine intervention serves to awaken Lewis to the reality of his faith, highlighting the necessity of sometimes experiencing difficulty to realize one's own vulnerabilities.