In George Eliot's "Daniel Deronda," Gwendolen struggles with her feelings towards her husband and her own self-image. She is aware of the dissonance in their relationship and cannot bear to be seen as repulsive by a man she despises. Instead, she prefers to maintain a sense of superiority and control over her own emotions.
This quote reveals Gwendolen's complex nature, where her desire for power in her interactions conflicts with her vulnerability. Her need to be the one who exerts disgust highlights her internal conflict and the significant impact of her marital circumstances on her identity.