Having a sister or a friend is like sitting at night in a lighted house. Those outside can watch you if they want, but you need not see them. You simply say, "Here are the perimeters of our attention. If you prowl around under the windows till the crickets go silent, we will pull the shades. If you wish us to suffer your envious curiosity, you must permit us not to notice it." Anyone with one solid human bond is that smug, and it is the smugness as much as the comfort and safety that lonely people covet and admire.

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In the quote from Marilynne Robinson's "Housekeeping," the author compares having a close relationship with a sister or friend to being in a well-lit house at night. Those outside can observe, yet the individuals inside are not obliged to engage with them. This metaphor illustrates the comfort and security that strong connections provide, allowing those within their circle to define their boundaries while minimizing outside interference.

The sentiment conveys that true companionship fosters a sense of smugness for those who have it, which is often desirable for lonely individuals. The harmony and safety that come from one solid relationship create a refuge that is enviable to those lacking such bonds. The quote highlights the intrinsic value of human connections and the peace they offer in the face of external scrutiny.

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March 16, 2025

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