He doesn't even like me. I let the thought roll around in my head. Anything I feel during that time gets shoved into the vault with the ten-foot-thick door slamming as soon as it goes in, just in case something in there has any intention of crawling out.
This quote captures the profound emotional struggle of suppressing painful feelings. The narrator's imagery of a vault with a massive door illustrates the human tendency to bury uncomfortable emotions — such as rejection, insecurity, or longing — in an attempt to protect oneself from pain. The act of letting the thought 'roll around' suggests a moment of vulnerability, where awareness of feelings is acknowledged, yet they are swiftly locked away. This behavior is often rooted in fear of vulnerability or past experiences where expressing such feelings may have led to negative consequences. The metaphor of the 'ten-foot-thick door' emphasizes a barrier built over time, indicating perhaps a deep habit of emotional repression. In real life, such suppression can lead to feelings of emotional isolation, difficulty in forming genuine connections, or internal turmoil that surfaces in unexpected ways. The quote shows the delicate balance between vulnerability and self-protection. While shielding oneself from pain feels necessary, it can also entrench feelings of loneliness, hindering authentic emotional expression. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward healing. The imagery encourages reflection on whether these emotional vaults are serving one's well-being or whether they might need to be gently opened to allow healing and genuine connection. Ultimately, this quote resonates as a vivid portrayal of the internal conflict experienced when striving to protect oneself from emotional harm.