He had been trying to suppress the feeling Stephan roused in him, but in the end, such things were never controllable-they rose up. Sometimes like the bursting of a mortar shell, sometimes like the inexorable green spike of a crocus pushing through snow and ice-but they rose up. Was he in love with Stephan? There was no question of that. He liked and respected the Hanoverian, but there was no madness in it, no yearning. Did he want Stephan? A soft warmth in his loins, as though his blood had begun somehow to simmer over a low flame, suggested that he did.
The quote describes the internal struggle of a character grappling with feelings for Stephan. Despite efforts to push these emotions aside, they persistently emerge, akin to powerful forces of nature. The character recognizes the depth of his feelings, suggesting that love might be present, yet it lacks the intensity of obsession or desperation. He appreciates and respects Stephan but seems to question the nature of his desire.
This internal conflict illustrates the complexity of human emotions, where love can coexist with confusion and moderation. The physical sensations described signal an undeniable attraction, hinting at a simmering desire beneath the surface. Ultimately, this reflection reveals the tension between acknowledgment of feelings and the desire for clarity about the relationship.
