He laughed a little, in an odd, nervous kind of way. Because if I don't get going soon, the whole impetus may die--and if that happens, well, I really shall consider a long, restful plunge into insanity. Sometimes the abyss yawns very attractively.
The character expresses a mixture of humor and anxiety, revealing an internal struggle as he feels pressed to take action. The nervous laughter indicates that he is aware of the importance of momentum in his life and creativity. He fears that if he delays, the energy driving him could fade away, leading to a state of hopelessness.
Additionally, he hints at a dark, almost tempting allure of losing oneself completely, suggesting that the idea of succumbing to despair or madness is a possibility he contemplates. This quote captures a moment of vulnerability and the tension between the desire for progress and the risk of stagnation.
