He loved Nirvana, but at his age they were kind of a guilty pleasure. All that rage and pain and self-hatred! Will got a bit...fed up sometimes, but he couldn't pretend it was anything stronger than that. So now he used loud angry rock music as a replacement for real feelings, rather than as an expression of them, and he didn't even mind very much. What good were real feelings anyway?
Will has a conflicted relationship with the music of Nirvana. Although he appreciates their sound, he recognizes it as a guilty pleasure given his age. He feels overwhelmed by the intense emotions of rage, pain, and self-hatred that their music encapsulates, leading him to reach a point of fatigue with such feelings. Despite this, he refuses to admit to a deeper emotional struggle, using the loud and aggressive rock music as a substitute for genuine feelings.
The revelation that he prefers to use music as a distraction rather than an outlet shows a significant shift in how he views emotions. Will questions the value of real feelings, suggesting a sense of resignation towards emotional engagement. This highlights a deeper theme in the narrative: the tension between confronting one's inner turmoil and choosing to mask it with external distractions.
