The speaker reveals feelings of deep inner turmoil, expressing a sense of guilt and self-loathing. They are haunted by violent dreams of destruction and suffering, indicating a profound struggle with their emotions. This conflict suggests that the speaker is grappling with dark thoughts while simultaneously expressing a wish to escape from them.

The imagery of a "garden of black and red agonies" suggests a fertile ground for despair and conflict, where pain and fear coexist. The speaker acknowledges their self-hatred and the overwhelming nature of their feelings, illustrating the complex relationship between their dreams and reality. Ultimately, this expression of anguish highlights the intensity of their psychological battle.