I am in danger of wanting my personal absolute to be a demigod of a man, and as there aren't many around, I often unconsciously manufacture my own. and then, I retreat and revel in poetry and literature where the reward value is tangible and accepted. I really do not think deeply. really deeply. I want a romantic nonexistant hero.
The author expresses a longing for an idealized figure, a "demigod," which reflects a deep yearning for a perfect man who embodies traits that are rarely found in reality. This desire leads her to create such figures in her mind, highlighting a struggle between her romantic ideals and the imperfections of real people.
As a response to this unattainable pursuit, she finds solace in poetry and literature, where the emotions and rewards are clear and satisfying. The author admits to not engaging in profound contemplation but rather seeks out romanticized heroes that do not truly exist, showcasing the contrast between fantasy and reality in her life.
