I am the furthest thing from a do-gooder. I am venal and flib and too clever by half, I know, but the thrill of the most brilliantly quicksilver aperҫu is no match for the self-interested high I get from having done someone a good turn. You'd think I'd do more good turns as a result, but there you go.
In "Half Empty," David Rakoff reflects on his own character, candidly admitting that he is not a naturally altruistic person. He describes himself as self-serving and somewhat superficial, whereas he also possesses a sharp wit. Despite this awareness of his flaws, he feels a deeper satisfaction and excitement when he helps others, suggesting a conflict between his nature and his occasional acts of kindness.
Rakoff observes that while he sometimes steps outside of his self-interested tendencies to do good, this doesn't necessarily lead to an increase in such actions. The thrill he experiences from a clever observation is overshadowed by the joy derived from positively impacting someone else's life, yet he finds it curious that this realization doesn't necessarily translate into more frequent good deeds.