I can remember a time when I took Henry James's advice--'try to be one of the people on whom nothing is lost!'--deeply to heart. I think I was then imagining that the net effect of becoming one of those people would be one of accretion. Whereas if you truly become someone on whom nothing is lost, then loss will not be lost upon you, either.
Maggie Nelson reflects on a time when she embraced Henry James's advice to be observant and attentive to all experiences. Initially, she believed that this awareness would lead to an accumulation of knowledge and insight. However, she began to realize that being deeply observant also means being acutely aware of loss and the weight of experiences.
In her exploration, Nelson suggests that true attentiveness brings a dual consciousness, where both joy and sorrow are fully felt and acknowledged. This profound understanding reveals that to witness everything means to also confront the painful aspects of life, as loss too becomes an integral part of one’s experiences.
