I could hear rain still pouring from the gutters and a thin branch scraping against one of the windows; but the church seemed completely cut off from the restless day outside--just as I felt cut off from the church. I thought: I am a restlessness inside a stillness inside a restlessness.

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In "I Capture the Castle" by Dodie Smith, the protagonist feels a deep sense of disconnection. Despite being in a church that appears tranquil and secluded from the chaotic world outside, she recognizes her own inner turmoil that contradicts this calm exterior. The sounds of the rain and a branch scraping against the window highlight this contrast, emphasizing her feelings of isolation.

This internal conflict leads her to reflect on her existence as a "restlessness" encased within a still environment. It captures the struggle between her chaotic emotions and the serene surroundings, creating a poignant image of someone grappling with their own sense of peace amidst external discord.

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February 15, 2025

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