The narrator reflects on his mother's dream state, indicating a sense of distance and discomfort with her unconscious thoughts. He prefers not to intrude on her dreams, as he is engulfed in his own nightmares, suggesting a profound connection to his pain. This reveals the emotional burden he carries, as he grapples with his own suffering while desiring to protect his mother from his turmoil.
Moreover, the narrator's feelings reveal an underlying jealousy towards happiness. If his mother were experiencing joyful dreams, it would only serve to amplify his own sadness, showcasing a complex dynamic of love, grief, and resentment. This passage encapsulates the struggle of wanting to share in someone's happiness while being overwhelmed by personal struggles.