I'd like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, the happiness that attends disaster. Or: the disappointment of sleeping with one's fantasy. I'd like to show how intimations of mortality brought on by aging family members connects with the hatred of mirrors that begins in middle age. I'd like to have a word for the sadness inspired by failing restaurants as well as for the excitement of getting a room with a minibar.
The author expresses a desire to explore the complexity of human emotions, specifically those that intertwine joy and sorrow. For instance, they are intrigued by the happiness that can arise from disaster and the letdown that follows the experience of realizing a fantasy. This highlights a sense of duality in emotions that is often overlooked but is deeply felt in the human experience.
Additionally, the author wishes to articulate the connection between the profound awareness of mortality as family members age and the negative feelings that can emerge around self-image in middle age. They also want to capture the bittersweet nature of life's little pleasures, contrasting the melancholy of failing restaurants with the thrill of intimate, luxurious experiences like having a minibar in a hotel room.