In Kafka's diaries from 1910 to 1923, he expresses a profound discomfort with his appearance and clothing. He rejects the idea of acquiring new clothes, feeling that since he would still be perceived as ugly, he prefers to prioritize comfort over style. This sentiment reveals a deeper struggle with his self-image and societal expectations related to appearance.
His self-consciousness about his looks extends to his physical demeanor; he describes how the state of his clothing affects his posture and body language, leading to a lack of confidence. The fear of mirrors symbolizes his inability to confront his self-image, as they reflect the ugliness he feels trapped by. This passage highlights Kafka's internal conflict and vulnerability regarding societal perceptions of beauty.