I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again. For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate.
The quote reflects the protagonist's complex emotions regarding his impending execution. He experiences a sense of happiness that he had once lost but is now reclaiming. This happiness, however, is tied to a desire for recognition in the face of his death, indicating a longing for connection even in his isolation. His willingness to embrace a crowd's hatred suggests a deep understanding of his existential condition, where external validation seems to hold weight as he faces his fate.
Camus, through this character’s reflection, explores themes of alienation and the human need for acknowledgment. The proposition of a public execution signifies a desire for significance, where even negative attention provides a sense of being seen. This highlights the absurdity of existence; in his final moments, the character seeks a connection through the very act of his societal rejection, illustrating the paradox of wanting to be both condemned and recognized.
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