I had always imagined myself hitching up on to my elbows on the delivery table after it was all over - dead white, of course, with no makeup and from the awful ordeal, but smiling and radiant, with my hair down to my waist, and reaching out for my first little squirmy child and saying its name, whatever it was.
The narrator reflects on her idealized vision of giving birth. She envisions herself after the painful experience, appearing pale yet joyful, radiating happiness despite the ordeal. Her dreams include a romanticized image of herself, with long hair cascading down, eagerly waiting to hold her newborn child.
This moment encapsulates her hopes and desires as a mother. It conveys a sense of vulnerability and strength, capturing the mix of emotions that accompany the life-changing experience of motherhood. The imagery highlights the contrast between her dreams and the reality of her situation.
