I long for you; I who usually longs without longing, as though I am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy, really, utterly long for every bit of you.
In this quote, Kafka expresses a profound feeling of longing that contrasts with his usual emotional state. He describes a deep yearning for someone, which stands out against his typical neutrality and indifference. This indicates a powerful emotional awakening, where he feels a strong desire for connection that breaks through his typical complacency.
The intensity of this longing reflects Kafka's complex inner life, revealing how deeply he can feel despite often being absorbed in apathy. His words encapsulate the struggle between a desire for connection and the barriers of emotional numbness that he frequently experiences.