The character expresses a complex mix of emotions regarding love and companionship. They cherish the moments of feeling loved and not being alone during certain times at home. However, there is a sense of pain in knowing that they often feel secondary in the relationship, highlighting an underlying insecurity and longing for more consistent affection. The joy of shared moments is overshadowed by the realization that these feelings can be fleeting.
Furthermore, the individual relishes the freedom of not needing to account for their actions to their partner, while simultaneously feeling the frustration of not receiving the same level of accountability in return. The contrast between the feelings experienced when together and apart emphasizes the emotional turmoil of the relationship. Ultimately, this duality reflects a struggle between the desire for intimacy and the reality of feeling undervalued.