I'm mad at you - at myself. I'm so angry, I can taste it. I want to find Blake and rearrange parts of his body. But do you know what I thought about all day yesterday? All night? The one single thing I couldn't escape, no matter how pissed off I am at you? No, I whispered. That I'm lucky, because the person I can't get out of my head, the person who means more to me than I can stand, is still alive. She's still here. And that's you.
by Jennifer L. Armentrout
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The speaker expresses a mix of intense rage directed at both someone else and themselves. They fantasize about taking out their anger on Blake but also grapple with the underlying truth that remains with them despite their turmoil. This reveals a deep emotional conflict, where anger and frustration coexist with love and appreciation. The irony lies in the fact that, even in a moment of fury, the speaker finds solace in the fact that someone dear to them is still alive and present.

This person, whom they cannot stop thinking about, is ultimately the source of their strength. Despite the overwhelming feelings of anger, the realization that this beloved individual is still in their life serves as a grounding force. It highlights the complexity of their emotions, where love triumphs over anger, reminding them of their luck in having this connection. The depth of their feelings for this person outweighs the negativity, making it clear how much they value that relationship.

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