The quote reflects a deep sense of self-criticism and accountability. The narrator expresses that their self-judgment is harsher than anyone else's perspective. Instead of merely stumbling into difficulties, they acknowledge a deliberate choice that led to a chaotic existence, showcasing their inner turmoil and complex emotions.
This introspection highlights themes of guilt and personal responsibility, revealing a struggle to reconcile past actions with the consequences they have faced. By stating they "dove" rather than fell, the author emphasizes a sense of agency in their decisions, suggesting a willingness to confront their history, however painful it may be.