I should give myself completely into your hands-but who are you? I do not trust you. Not once to trust, is that my love for you, my joy in you? Do I not trust every valiant man, and not you, my soul? Your hand lies heavy on me, but I will, I will. Have I not sought to love men and trust them, and should I not do this with you?
This excerpt reflects an internal struggle with trust and the complexities of love. The speaker grapples with the idea of surrendering oneself fully to another while questioning the identity and reliability of that individual. Despite a strong desire to embrace love, there is a profound hesitation rooted in uncertainty and past experiences, illustrating a conflict between yearning for connection and the instinct to protect oneself.
The speaker expresses a longing to trust and love, suggesting that trust should be a fundamental aspect of any loving relationship. However, the weight of doubt signifies a deeper vulnerability, as the speaker questions the ability to extend trust to the one they love most. This tension highlights the dual nature of relationships, wherein love can elicit both joy and fear, ultimately revealing the fragile balance between reliance and self-preservation.
