I struggled to find the words to name the feelings that flooded through me, but I had no words strong enough to hold them. For a long moment, I drowned in them. When I surfaced, I was not the same man I had been. My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?
The quote expresses a profound emotional struggle, depicting the narrator's difficulty in articulating deep feelings that overwhelm him. He describes drowning in these emotions, indicating a moment of intense reflection and transformation. Emerging from this experience, he realizes that he has fundamentally changed and can no longer return to his past self. His life, previously characterized by darkness, is now confronted with an unexpected glimmer of hope.
This transition is symbolized by the metaphor of midnight, representing a time of despair and stagnation. The narrator is perplexed by the notion of a sunrise occurring amidst the perpetual night, suggesting the possibility of change and renewal despite his bleak outlook. This juxtaposition of light and darkness illustrates the complexity of human emotions and the potential for growth even in times of struggle.