The quote reflects the internal struggle of the narrator as they attempt to suppress a troubling thought on their birthday. Despite their efforts to hide these feelings, the tension of the thought lingers in the background, suggesting a conflict between personal joy and unsettling introspection. It highlights the complexity of maintaining happiness when overshadowed by negativity.
Richard Brautigan's "Trout Fishing in America" often explores themes of nostalgia and the human experience. This quote encapsulates the idea that even moments of celebration can be tainted by hidden worries, revealing the dual nature of human emotions and the challenge of reconciling them.