I thought I could start over, you see. But now I know you can never start over. Not really. You think you have control, but you are like a fly in somebody else's web. Sometimes I think that's why I like accounting. All day, you are only dealing with numbers. You add them, multiply them, and if you are careful, you will always have a solution. There's a sequence there. An order. With numbers, you can have control….
In this reflection, the author expresses a sense of disillusionment about the possibility of starting over in life. They compare personal life to a fly caught in a web, highlighting feelings of entrapment and the illusion of control. This realization underscores a deeper understanding that true reinvention may be elusive, even when we seek to move on from our pasts.
In contrast, the author finds comfort in the world of accounting, where clarity and order reign through numbers. The systematic nature of mathematics provides a sense of control and solvability that is often absent in life's complexities. Here, the author appreciates how working with structured sequences allows for reliable solutions, a stark contrast to the unpredictable nature of personal experiences.