I used to believe, although I don't now, that growing and growing up are analogous, that both are inevitable and uncontrollable processes. Now it seems to me that growing up is governed by the will, that one can choose to become an adult, but only at given moments. These moments come along fairly infrequently -during crises in relationships, for example, or when one has been given the chance to start afresh somewhere- and one can ignore them or seize them.
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In the quote, the author reflects on their changing perspective regarding personal growth and maturity. Initially, they believed that both growing physically and growing emotionally were automatic processes that individuals could not influence. However, over time, they have come to understand that the journey of growing up is largely shaped by personal choices and moments of decision, rather than just the passage of time.
The author suggests that significant opportunities for maturity arise during critical events in one's life, such as relationship crises or chances for new beginnings. These pivotal moments are not frequent, and individuals have the option to either embrace or overlook them. This implies that true adulthood is not merely a result of age but instead the result of intentional decisions made at crucial times.
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