I used to think that once we started going out, Derek would change. When I admitted that to Tori, she nearly laughed herself into an aneurysm and gave me a lecture on the stupidity of expecting to change a guy. Maybe I didn't have her dating experience, but I knew you didn't go out with someone because you thought you'd change him. That wasn't what I'd meant. I liked Derek the way he was. I'd just hoped getting closer would mean landing on the sharp side of his tongue less often.
The narrator reflects on their initial belief that a romantic relationship with Derek would lead to changes in his behavior. When they confide this sentiment to their friend Tori, she reacts with laughter and warns against the naivety of expecting someone to change for a partner. This conversation highlights a common misconception in dating, where people might hope for transformation in their significant others.
Despite Tori's strong reaction, the narrator clarifies that their feelings for Derek are genuine and they appreciate him as he is. Their desire for a closer connection stems from a hope that intimacy would lessen some of Derek's harsher qualities, rather than a wish for him to fundamentally change. This illustrates the complexities of love and relationships, where acceptance and the hope for improvement coexist.