I wanted a metamorphosis, a change to fish, to leviathan, to destroyer. I wanted the earth to open up, to swallow everything in one engulfing yawn. I wanted to see the city buried fathoms deep in the bosom of the sea. I wanted to sit in a cave and read by candlelight. I wanted that eye extinguished so that I might have a chance to know my own body, my own desires. I wanted to be alone for a thousand years in order to reflect on what I had seen and heard - and in order to forget.
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In this quote from "Tropic of Capricorn" by Henry Miller, the speaker expresses a deep desire for transformation and escape from the mundane reality. The yearning to become a creature of the sea, like a leviathan, illustrates a wish for profound change and destruction of the existing world. This longing suggests a desire to return to a more primal state, away from the complexities of urban life, to a place of solitude and introspection.

The imagery of the earth swallowing the city and seeking refuge in a cave evokes themes of isolation and reflection. The speaker longs to extinguish the distractions of the world to reconnect with their own identity and desires. This wish for solitude over a long period emphasizes the need to process experiences and seek deeper understanding, highlighting the transformative power of loneliness and contemplation.

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February 10, 2025

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