Indeed, if I have yet to join the hosts of the suicides, it is because {fatigue apart} I find it no meaningfuller to drown myself than to go on swimming.
The quote from John Barth's "Lost in the Funhouse" reflects a deep sense of existential struggle. The speaker expresses a weariness that leads them to question the purpose of life and the act of simply continuing to exist. They ponder the futility of their situation, likening life to a relentless swim that feels equally pointless whether one continues or chooses to end it.
This sentiment captures the essence of feeling trapped in a cycle of despair, as the speaker does not find dignity or meaning in either choosing life or death. It illustrates a profound emotional conflict where the effort to persist feels just as meaningless as the idea of surrendering to despair, highlighting the complexities of human existence and the search for purpose amidst overwhelming fatigue.
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All the things you can talk about in anyone's work are the things that are least important.
Race of Cain, ascend to heaven, And cast God down upon the earth!
