It's the unbroken calm, both within and without, that is getting to her. Real events happen to people, she thinks, why not me? And then there's her conviction that they are happening, all around her, but that they're being kept from her.
The protagonist feels a profound sense of unease due to a persistent calm that envelops her life. It makes her question the reality of her own experiences, leading her to wonder why she is not part of the significant events occurring around her. This internal conflict highlights her desire for meaningful experiences and the frustration of feeling excluded from life's unfolding drama.
Moreover, she is convinced that real events are occurring just beyond her reach, contributing to her feelings of isolation. This sense of being cut off from the vibrancy of life deepens her emotional turmoil, as she grapples with the notion that important happenings are deliberately kept from her awareness, further amplifying her longing for connection and engagement with the world.
