"It was the fact that I didn't want to kill anyone. I wasn't put on this earth to murder my fellow man." This reveals the narrator's strong moral stance against violence and killing, emphasizing that their purpose in life is not to harm others.
"I'd grown up with violence - can't you see that? I can't bear it." The narrator expresses a personal history of experiencing violence, which has deeply affected them and strengthened their aversion to causing harm. Their feelings highlight the emotional burden and moral conflict related to violence and killing.