It was the feel of the cigarette between his fingers he wanted, the sharp intake of tobacco smoke into the lungs, not some slow oozing of poison through his skin into his blood. Pity about the health problems. He felt rather like St. Augustine must have felt when he wrote in his Confessions: Give me chastity and continency-but not yet!
The character expresses a longing for the tangible experience of smoking a cigarette, focusing on the immediate pleasure it brings rather than its harmful effects. He grapples with the allure of the sensation—the feel of the cigarette and the rush of smoke—while acknowledging the negative health consequences that come with it.
This struggle mirrors the sentiment of St. Augustine, who famously wished for virtue but simultaneously desired to indulge his passions....
