The character expresses a longing for the tangible experience of smoking a cigarette, focusing on the immediate pleasure it brings rather than its harmful effects. He grapples with the allure of the sensation—the feel of the cigarette and the rush of smoke—while acknowledging the negative health consequences that come with it.
This struggle mirrors the sentiment of St. Augustine, who famously wished for virtue but simultaneously desired to indulge his passions. The character's internal conflict highlights the tension between craving instant gratification and understanding the repercussions of those choices, suggesting a deeper commentary on human nature and self-control.