It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me.I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.I did not resurface.
In this passage from "New Moon" by Stephenie Meyer, the narrator reflects on a deep sense of despair and longing. The character feels an overwhelming emotional pain that seems to consume her, leading her to wish for a moment of escape from reality, perhaps even fainting to avoid the anguish. The smooth wooden floor symbolizes a grounding element as she kneels, suggesting her vulnerability and helplessness in the face of her circumstances.
The promise made to her—that it would feel as if she never existed—adds to the weight of her sorrow, making her feel invisible and unimportant. As the pain intensifies, she struggles against it but ultimately feels submerged in her grief, unable to find relief or reclaim her strength. This moment encapsulates the struggle between the desire to escape suffering and the inescapable reality of emotional turmoil.
