Let's face it: I'm scared, scared and frozen. First, I guess I'm afraid for myself... the old primitive urge for survival. It's getting so I live every moment with terrible intensity. It all flowed over me with a screaming ache of pain... remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I've taken for granted. When you feel that this may be good-bye, the last time, it hits you harder.
Sylvia Plath expresses a profound sense of fear and emotional paralysis in her journal. She reflects on the instinctual concern for personal survival, highlighting how this fear transforms her perception of life. Every moment becomes charged with intensity, leading her to confront her experiences with a heightened awareness of pain and urgency. As she contemplates the impermanence of life, she wishes to deeply appreciate everything she has previously taken for granted.
This contemplation intensifies when she faces the possibility of saying goodbye, making each moment feel more significant and bittersweet. The realization that life can change suddenly gives her a sense of urgency to truly live in the present, cherishing each second with a new perspective. Through this lens, Plath reveals the complexity of human emotions in the face of existential fear and the desire to remain connected to life as it unfolds.
