This quote presents a complex interplay of desire, disdain, and the inherent contradictions within human relationships. The speaker recognizes a mutual attraction or desire—referred to as a 'hankering'—but explicitly dismisses the idea of acting on it, suggesting a level of restraint or perhaps cynicism about such impulses. The blunt honesty about disliking most aspects of the other person reveals a deep-seated dissatisfaction and a lack of genuine affection, contrasting sharply with the mention of a mutual desire. The statement about having followed through on a desire that led to being shot, and finding that experience more enjoyable, is darkly humorous and conveys a sense of recklessness or emotional numbness. It underscores the destructive tendencies that can accompany intense or unfulfillable desires and the possibly self-destructive nature of indulgence. Overall, the quote encapsulates themes of disillusionment, complex motives, and emotional turmoil. It is a reflection on how attraction can coexist with disdain and how sometimes, our impulses push us towards actions that result in pain rather than pleasure. This blend of sarcasm, vulnerability, and honesty paints a vivid picture of a person grappling with their darker impulses and the chaos of unfulfilling relationships, resonating as a stark truth about human nature and the often conflicting emotions that drive us.