Logically, I understand that it wasn't Edward's fault my family fell apart after he left. But when you're eleven years old, you don't give a flip about logic. You just really miss holding your big brother's hand.
The narrator reflects on the emotional impact of their brother Edward's departure from home, acknowledging that, while they rationally recognize that his leaving was not the cause of their family's breakdown, their young mind struggles to accept that reality. At the age of eleven, such complexities are overshadowed by raw feelings of loss and longing for the comforting presence of a sibling.
This longing highlights the innocence of childhood, where emotions often outweigh logic. The narrator's deep yearning to hold Edward's hand symbolizes a desire for connection and security, emphasizing the profound sense of absence that follows his departure. It's a poignant reminder of how familial bonds shape our experiences, especially during formative years.