Lord John had been nothing but courtesy itself to me. More than that, he had been intelligent, thoughtful-thoroughly charming, in fact. And listening to him making intelligent, thoughtful, charming conversation with Jamie knotted my insides and made me clench my hands under cover of the quilt. You are an idiot, I told myself savagely.
In "Drums of Autumn," the narrator reflects on her positive experiences with Lord John, describing him as exceptionally courteous, intelligent, and charming. His engaging conversation with Jamie creates a complex emotional reaction, leading the narrator to feel a mix of admiration and jealousy, which causes her inner turmoil.
This internal conflict is intensified as she becomes increasingly aware of her own feelings, prompting self-critical thoughts. The juxtaposition of her affection for Lord John and her emotional response to his interactions with Jamie illustrates the depth of her character and highlights the nuances of her relationships in the narrative.
