Love had done this to her, for the second time. Love was bad for her. There must be certain people who were allergic to love, and she was one of them. Not only was it bad for her; it made her bad; it poisoned her. Before she knew him, not only had she been far, far happier but she had been nicer. Loving him was turning her into an awful person, a person she hated.
The character reflects on how love has negatively impacted her life, realizing that it has transformed her for the worse. She feels that she has an "allergy" to love, experiencing its detrimental effects not just emotionally but also on her character. Before her relationship, she enjoyed happiness and kindness, but now she finds that being in love has corrupted her nature.
This realization brings her to a painful conclusion: love is toxic for her. It not only brings suffering but also leads her to become someone she despises. The deep conflict within her illustrates the complexities of love, suggesting that for some individuals, love can indeed be a harmful force rather than a source of joy.
