Love that wants only to get, to possess, is a monstrous thing

Love that wants only to get, to possess, is a monstrous thing

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This quote from Ursula K. Le Guin's The Wind's Twelve Quarters captures a profound truth about the nature of love and attachment. It highlights how love, when reduced to mere desire for possession and control, loses its purity and becomes something destructive. Love, in its truest form, is not about owning or capturing another being but about mutual respect, freedom, and growth. When love becomes possessive, it transforms into a force that binds rather than frees, suffocates rather than nurtures.

The characterization of possessive love as "monstrous" is powerful—it suggests an unnatural distortion of an emotion that should ideally transcend selfishness. This idea reminds us that love should not be measured by how much we accumulate or demand from others but by how much we are willing to give and understand. Possessiveness often stems from insecurity and fear of loss, which ultimately undermines the foundations of a healthy relationship.

Furthermore, this perspective invites reflection on the broader implications of possessiveness beyond romantic relationships—be it in friendships, family, or even societal contexts. When we seek to possess rather than relate, we create barriers and diminish the authenticity of our connections. The quote elegantly encourages an ethic of love grounded in freedom, empathy, and respect rather than control and selfishness. It asks us to reconsider our motivations and to strive for love that inspires genuine growth, not monstrous confinement.

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May 31, 2025

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