Mazer, i don't want to keep dreaming these things. I'm afraid to sleep. I keep thinking of things i don't want to remember. My whole life keeps playing out as if i were a recorder and someone else wanted to watch the most terrible parts of my life
In "Ender's Game," a character named Mazer reveals deep-seated fears about his memories, expressing a reluctance to continue dreaming about traumatic experiences. He feels that these memories replay like a film reel, showcasing the most painful moments of his life, which leads to his anxiety about sleep and its associated memories.
This passage highlights the psychological struggles faced by individuals grappling with their past. Mazer's fear of sleep reflects a broader theme of how unresolved experiences can haunt a person, impacting their mental well-being and ability to find peace.