Mesmerized, all she can do is watch this piece of her life move off; all she can do is watch it and suffer. She is experiencing a brand-new feeling called nostalgia. That feeling, that irrepressible yearning to return, suddenly reveals to her the existence of the past, the power of the past, of her past; in the house of her life {…} from now on her existence will be inconceivable without these feelings.
In this passage, the character is engulfed by nostalgia as she watches a significant part of her life drift away. This deep emotional response highlights her sense of loss and yearning for the past. The experience of watching this moment unfold leaves her feeling powerless, emphasizing the profound impact that memories have on her present state of being.
This newfound awareness of nostalgia opens up her understanding of the past's influence on her life. It becomes clear that her identity and existence are intertwined with these reflections and emotions. From that moment on, she realizes that she cannot separate herself from these memories, indicating that they will shape her perception of life moving forward.