…my Lolita remarked: "You know, what's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own"; and it struck me, as my automaton knees went up and down, that I simply did not know a thing about my darling's mind and that quite possibly, behind the awful juvenile cliches, there was in her a garden and a twilight, and a palace gate - dim and adorable regions which happened to be lucidly and absolutely forbidden to me, in my polluted rags and miserable convulsions…
In Nabokov's "Lolita," the narrator reflects on a profound statement made by Lolita regarding the solitude of death. This remark leads him to a realization about his limited understanding of her inner world. He acknowledges that despite their complex relationship, he has failed to grasp the depths of her thoughts and feelings, hinting at a richer inner life hidden behind her youthful facade.
This passage emphasizes the disconnect between the narrator and Lolita, illustrating his feelings of inadequacy and longing for a deeper connection. He perceives her as a mysterious figure, with parts of her existence that remain inaccessible to him, evoking a sense of loss and regret. The imagery of a "garden," "twilight," and a "palace gate" symbolizes the beauty and complexity of her mind, which he cannot fully experience or understand, highlighting the tragic nature of their relationship.
